Two years - relearning to live
Well, it’s two years since B died and, no, it doesn’t seem possible. How can all of that time have passed without him? How can I no longer be able to say, “my husband died last year”? And yet here I am. To be truthful, although I couldn’t see how it could possibly do so, life does carry on and I no longer think about B all of the time. I can go out now, have a good time, and really enjoy myself. Admittedly, the underlying sadness is still there but it is less potent, and I haven’t had any more of those terrible dark, crushing times of misery, for which I’m thankful. There are still the occasional bad times but, on the whole, they are shorter and I bounce back more quickly. Whenever I feel sad, I just also try to feel grateful for what we had and, generally, that helps. It no longer feels like yesterday that B was here, though. I can feel the ‘realness’ of him slipping away and, I guess, this is the natural process of grief unfolding, which is probably good but, if I’m truthful, I don’t...