We just were…

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Today would have been our silver wedding anniversary. I am grateful that B and I had as long as we did together, but obviously heart-broken that he is not here with me to celebrate this landmark. I wanted to mark the day in a positive way and the idea of buying a silver locket came to me, as it seemed both appropriate and something that would remain meaningful. I actually found a suitable locket very easily, and somewhat unexpectedly, when out with my sister. Now, the locket has photos of B in it and I am wearing it for the first time today in celebration our twenty-four years of married life together.

Now, I am going to meet with friends and, after a little excursion, we will go to a favourite restaurant that B and I used to visit on special occasions. In the evening, I will allow myself time to be quiet and ponder and, hopefully, I will be able to celebrate our life together. I may even play the recording of our wedding…

 Anyway, a little while ago I wrote this poem and today seemed the right day to share it.


We just were

We just were,
Two, and yet one.
 
Who knows what people thought,
 The age gap was large,
 But it meant nothing to us.
 We were each other's other half.
 We took each other as we were.
 
We lived in the moment.
 Not looking back at lives before,
 or times ahead.
 We were as we were, (why isn't it 'are'?) -
Happy,
Content,
Best friends. More.
 
We lived, imperfectly, together,
 (used to each other's quirks and habits,
 each other's annoyances and irritations),
 Sharing the good things,
 Enjoying the good times,
 At ease with the mundanities of life.
 
We were different,
 Fitting together as two pieces of a jigsaw.
We just were -
 Happy,
 Content,
 Best friends.
 We were ourselves, separately and together.
 
We just were.
 
We were together,
 But no longer are.
 
We were ‘we’,
 But now it’s ‘me’.
 
We were together,
 Real,
 But now unreal.
 
We were together.
 And now one half is missing...
It hurts.

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