Up and down, round and round...

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This has been an odd week in that I don’t really know how I am or what I am feeling! I have had highs and lows, with everyday life in between, but it all just seems a bit unreal at the moment.

I wasn’t going to write a blog post. What was there to say, except that which I’ve already said? Then, though, I came across a couple of things that stirred a reaction within me. The first was an article (https://whatsyourgrief.com/six-word-stories-statements-and-exclamations-a-journaling-exercise/) about using six-word stories, describing them as “perfect little bite-sized emotional expressions”. This took my fancy, so I decided I would try to write one for each day since my last post:
Tuesday: Conflict between sorrow and happiness continues.
Wednesday: Mired in grief – what’s the point?
Thursday: On my own; regaining my equilibrium.
Friday: Party time, fun but overwhelming. 
Saturday: Friends bring happiness, despite the enervation.
Sunday: Church: up and down I go!
Monday: Invitations / plans – grasping a happy future.
Tuesday: Munch exhibition – (my?) emotions in paint.
Wednesday: Covid affects us all. Plans changed! (Not me, I hasten to add.)
Reflection: I need people and time alone.

The second thing was this picture by Rembrandt (I love Rembrandt!), called ‘The Philosopher in Meditation’. 

I guess it caught my attention because it looks a bit like how my life feels at the moment. The light comes in through the window onto the Philosopher, who seems to be pondering his existence, but it only seems to reach part of his world. Then there’s that strange door behind him – what is behind it? What would happen if he opened it? Another person stokes the fire in the corner that is, presumably, generating some warmth, and a little light. There are those intimidating stairs, where the first few steps are lit but it gets darker and darker as they spiral up. The exit is black and hidden. Although the philosopher is sitting in the weak sunlight, overall, there is still so much darkness. I’m not going to over analyse it but, hopefully, you ‘get the picture’, the juxtaposition of light and darkness, hope and sorrow.

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